


the melancholy of being a halv norwegian haafu japanese half human ½ pressure elementary schooler

by hazuki_15



Category: Pressure - YLVIS (Song), ちはやふる | Chihayafuru
Genre: Deliberate Badfic, English | English, His Name Should Be Taichi Pressure Ylvisåker But They're In Japan So Mashima It Is, Nihongo | Japanese, Norge | Norway, Norsk | Norwegian, Pressure Is Taichi's Middle Name, Pressure is Japanese, Songfic
Language: Norsk
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-24 15:34:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6158301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazuki_15/pseuds/hazuki_15
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Great Big List Of Reasons Why Taichi's Life Is Suffering:</p><p>1. <strike>Senpai</strike>Chihaya won't notice him.</p><p>2. <strike>Senpai</strike>Chihaya notices the new kid in class with the lame loser accent instead of him.</p><p>3. His mom is Mrs. Pressure.</p><p>4. His dad is Vegard Ylvisåker.</p><p>5. Everyone he meets wants to sing The Fox song with him.</p><p>{CH 1 is NORSK|NORWEGIAN, CH 2 is NIHONGO|JAPANESE, CH 3 is ENGLISH|ENGLISH}</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. {NORSK|NORWEGIAN} melankoli av å være en halv norsk halv japanese halvt menneske ½ press elementær schooler

**Author's Note:**

> A gazillion thanks to my inspirations, Suetsugu Yuki's Chihayafuru manga Chap 2 Pg 4, YLVIS's [Pressure song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8i1Ddj1Sw8) and Enoby Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way's story of her life!1!2!3!4!5!6!7!8!9!10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taichi stort spekter av årsaker:
> 
> 1\. Legg merke ~~Pai~~ Chihaya.
> 
> 2\. ~~Pai~~ Chihaya mistet sin klasse nye gutten på observasjoner og halt.
> 
> 3\. uninett uxinzelelo unxz.
> 
> 4\. Vegard Ylvis så care.
> 
> 5\. Fox sa, alle ønsker å synge en sang med ham.

_One thing stays the same… No matter what you do…_

\--my pappa, Vegard Trykk Ylvisåker

IKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURU

Velkommen planter er gutta Tak Trykk Mashima og bustete brunt hår og min far, så brune øyne ( **eller** lilla Kazusa Atsuko EAB! Anime leie dhouse gjør feil og hage rose), spøkelses vinduer ble torturert, og min far er hensiktsmessig (for eksempel, og Norge , svotsvinda hva en mann!). Jeg ønsker å presisere at de ikke ønsker mestiser (bi **racial** bi **seksuelle** , nådde jeg halt-O Arata!) American Dad talte ord som jeg vokste opp med tre språk, det vil ta deg til USA før sine foreldre fra Japan huske engelsk Nihongo mor og far og mor som jeg har sagt noe, Norge / Nihongo. Jeg har barnehager, grunnskole og + Min # 1 jeg halvparten av alle områder (far, men han gjør Lil sitt folk som sine "brødre Bard (Chelebi ung semi-double Ilvis) sitt engasjement og USA, fordi Fox er tilgjengelig separat) og halvparten trykk (i fjor i Norge overfor min mor punkter (selvfølgelig, har en umiddelbar og profesjonell respons) studenter).Jeg snakker med mine venner, og latter av skolen for en stund, så mye som i meg er nesten alle slag (med mindre jeg er ikke en lærer, fordi han mistet på et sykehjem overføring av barnet, og ploughman) er en del av mat, og da hørte han Chihaya Arata.

Og han gikk og han dukket opp på bordet, Chihaya (dette er en av de genene fra livmoren av min mors Trykk talenter den viktigste fordi trykket), og ved en tilfeldighet, sa han: «Herre, gave wuzza den jente? "

"Å, Herre, Taichi," det må bemerkes Chihaya. "Det er ikke rart at det høres ut. Når det er sagt å lære?"

Jeg gispet.

IKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURU

_It’s all about the pressure, ladies_

\--my pappa, Vegard Trykk Ylvisåker

IKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURU

Åh, jeg fortelle min datter Chihaya Chihaya Iasi. Det skjedde ikke Kawaii og var bare jenta til arbeid og arbeid, fordi maskinvaren brudgommen fremtiden. Han er under konstant press (og fordi min mor ikke er berørt / innhold Robin er den viktigste betingelsen for å være min venn jeg sa når jeg våkner og jeg bestemte meg hele tiden i hodet mitt til å sove som var ti ganger) og sa alle som ofte plager meg eller noe i tankene. Det har også fysisk smerte er en merkelig måte å forårsake slag / spark i magen, i motsetning til nesten alle andre, jeg vet. Med sine karakterer er på slutten av klassen.

Men han tar, som alt annet, men sier noe Chihaya.

Det er også en som jeg ville bli invitert til karaoke med den slik at jeg kan sette min far og min onkel sang. Han sa Fox sang som alle rundt meg har skala, som hadde sendt båndet når foreldrene mine synge ferdigheter, bedt om å forlate programmet og hans bror Ylvis Day natt påvirket økonomisk for å hjelpe deg videre i karrieren i håp om bandet og / eller Norge høy.

Og det er spesielt bra, og bare si hei. Jeg tok et dypt åndedrag.

"Di MMM Whatcha?"

Han ga en røykfylt øye, ingen ga meg et blikk, som det var på samme nivå som den var, og det er veldig rart for meg.

"Min far, Vegard Ylvisåker spiller fetter?" Kan jeg beskytte. "Ikke fortell meg at du aldri har hørt om noen av hans sanger."

"Å, jeg sa akkurat hva euroen navn i dem?" Noen Chihaya (jeg kan ikke huske navnet hans, sa han, men alt må gå min venn Chihaya A eller B er ikke bare vår evne). "Jeg **liker** den nye Fox synge!"

Jeg var under hennes pust, "Jeg er."

" _Dog goes "woof"_  
_Cat goes "meow"_  
_Bird goes "tweet"_  
_And mouse goes "squeek"_  
_Cow goes "moo"_  
_Frog goes "croak"_ "Hun begynte å synge en av hans venner Chihaya.

" _And the elephant goes "toot"_  
_Ducks say "quack"_  
_And fish go "blub"_  
_And the seal goes "ow ow ow"_ "Chihaya kart Kommer visne.

" _But there's one sound_  
_That no one knows,_ "Chihaya musikk og venner.

" _ **What does the fox say?**_ " Bare de fleste andre mennesker ikke har i klassen, Chihaya er, ekkel Masu ny sub Los Angeles deltakelse.

Guy merkelig støy (boet press for å gjøre god smør), forstår jeg deg å være stille headdesking intervensjon Chihaya konkurransen var tiden min bror og rever Reel video på YouTube.

"Hvis du gjør Tai Chi" Chihaya spørsmålet noen ganger, B,

Du vil nyte enebarn, "selv om det er en gammel sang: komme til oss:" Jeg liker en avslappende / -leantainn venner, slappe av.

Det var ikke kjent, og han sier: "Faderen har vist oss er en flip-telefon," Så hjelp meg / kan være.

Venner, Chihaya, min kjære, jeg vet ikke om språket er ikke den beste, og han sa: "Ja, men ikke vær flau, minst."

Jeg gispet.

IKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURU

 _Easy, boy!_  
_Put the right amount of pressure on it_

\--my pappa, Vegard Trykk Ylvisåker

IKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURU

Og historien om mitt liv som en jævla dum, så min venn og Chihaya (som ikke er min jente lenger!).

Jeg skal si noe om mysteriet nå ...

Kan jeg endre navnet på hovedpersonen i anime Taichi og jeg kommer til å starte min egen manga har blitt tilpasset til en anime. Dette kalles **Purusha Mashima Monogatari Song Contest** , og i dette jeg er enig med Taiji å holde videregående nivå (videregående skole, og min mor ønsket å gå til Chihaya ikke!) Er lameass Games Winnie blødningen tå. Min mor sa press for å gjøre det som er # 1, og jeg tror det også. Tai Chi handler om press, jeg halvt trykk, og har også samme navn som meg. Så, jeg vet.

IKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURU

_**Omake** _

Hei, la meg gå før jeg si hva en rettferdig alle mine fiender (jeg vet du er der, jeg vet du tror jeg er en god person). Har ting å si til deg på engelsk, japansk og norsk:

Trykk deg **ut**.

Farvel, bakayaro.

Faen, faen rasshøl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first time writing Norsk! Thanks Google!


	2. {NIHONGO|JAPANESE} 半分ノルウェーの半分日本語半分人間半分圧力小学生であることの憂鬱

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> この理由は、派生大きな連続太一の大規模なリストからのものです：  
> 1. ~~高度~~ な千早は彼を見ていません。  
> 2. ~~高~~ 千早は、私は敗者であり、彼のラメのアクセントではなく、新しい子供のクラスでマークします。  
> 3は、彼の母親は彼の妻を押しました。  
> 4.彼の父親はYlvisakerていました。 こんにちは  
> 5.私は彼らの歌ですべての曲フォックスを行います

_One thing stays the same… No matter what you do…_

\--くじらme死海「SPA、Ylvisakerプレーヤーseranganベガード

IKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURU

Thugged Avastのは、muthafuckasは毛深いアフリカブラウンとして海塩Monsta製ウッドI太一真島の父有機農業への圧力、そむい（アニメ書き込みは「非常識purplyピンクChihayaz POVは欠場されていない）は、n茶色の目DATのWindowsである必要があります私はthaのお尻の終わりに彼のthugged非常に塩辛い海Monstaと拷問」thugged-OAの父を（HezはNorwayzが最も下劣なとダグの一部をFERをthuggedで、「それは私には思える）。私は（異人種間バイセクシャルではないが、DATスキャンを持っていますCommenderは、あなたの心を欲しかっ停止、私はGIT「フラット異人種間DAT Q.アラタ！）、と私はmomz trilin'ual話す日本人の半分よりノルウェーの塩辛い海Monsta有機農業thugged dadzの半分だ」ノルウェー塩辛い海Monstaを私と「知覚日本語thugged-OAの父、「母が「私スナックMonsta海のために」、すなわち、バンド、誕生したウィット有機農業の父のnの母は私がノルウェー/日本語、彼がどのように性交泣いTHA覚えていませんthugged。主要なフェンシングのスキルI nは、「すべてのZ AZのIアカデミーグリル＃1幼稚園「トーストN、N-対象に、あなたは「DAT Uを置くことができます。あなたは（私の叔父thatz道路（「後半」にもかかわらず、dadz有機農業のThugged「リールブラザーBで今datのお尻無用関心普通の人から直接人間Monstaのための軽食himz月明白TISのように誰がmuthafuckaされていませんフォックス 'nは有機農業' USA 'が最大の一つとなっているが）無神論者と熱の半分である'）ので、寒い夜のYlvisデュオイタ公の冒頭「VW 10を変更するwhoz Q年度は、他の一方で（私はwhoz母のお尻もちろん東大圧力を卒業東大構造（B 'Tisの彼とほぼ種）、、）昨年ノルウェーで交換。

私は敗者アラタ午前、酸化千早「スケール」は、「我々が何であるか、10時のクラスなし（毛皮の数学という立場を収容し、「街角カップ娘には、ボトルの先生を移動封止するのWi-Fi」と友人が飽き助けるために「いつ聞いた「ワイの叔父は言いました"叔父NAE）は荒田転送例を話しました。

道、によって消えることがあり、「少しGUID日wuzzaベッシーの問題？」そして、「千早のデスクトップは、（それが麻雀AYフレームだ特別な才能アップ麻雀圧力組合が母親に一体的な麻雀の圧力がされている）ようです」

「GUID日太極拳ああ、「千早を述べました。 「ユは、純粋な奇妙な音。あなたがでTAEのおしゃべりの湖」を学び何をしましたか？」

私は息を呑みました。

IKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURU

_It’s all about the pressure, ladies_

\--くじらme死海「SPA、Ylvisakerプレーヤーseranganベガード

IKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURU

ティール情報ラッシーのあなたのGuid SE今日ABIT麻雀千早、綾瀬千早。将来的には構造支持体材料はあるかもしれない、かわいいロリかもしれない彼はMairのスターンラッシーをやっ岩湖ルーンの一つでしただって。また、彼は/ファン材料を滞在しないかもしれないが、乾燥骨の主な症状であるギャング・テヨンの難問滞在する「標準だってを持つようになった麻雀のsulking圧力が（私の母は私がthesという10回ごとに起きていると言う指示します」私はAWを服用することは、今の時間ですMAH）、および任意のテヨン「私は"心配ポッパ「冷酷ヘクタールの水のフィンが来るものだ、と彼女は言います。 BBはまた奇妙なカスタムTHESは私の肉体的苦痛ドリル/ブラブラため、「私はほとんどのような胃での「水の中のERレベル番目の伝記ああケン。下位クラスあぁテイ。」原因

しかし、私はへの圧力があり、「誰より薄いが、「千早何かロッホビュー」が言いました。

  
また、「唯一のファdoesnÂ't「我々泰泰ギャングカラオケのWiおじさんの親」のSAE invitinをマイニングcoodsは歌のGSP mAの範囲は、あったことを続けます」。私は長年にわたってテープの接触ポピーを歌うdoesnÂ'tも彼、SAEのWiバンドの他の部分でGSP泰ミリアンペアへの欲求」歌っ能力は」とeh'dている""フォックスは、湖の練習は言いました"父、私は願っています」DIZを送るが保証"リルブロKveld」、彼は彼のAA YlvisギャングGSPショーの伝記を受信した「彼のキャリアの中で水のノルウェー/ピークサポート蜂蜜のスーパースターと呼ばれます。

 

 

彼は、特に非常に特別な阿尔布雷希、ある「犬のJISTは、GUID日TAE私は言いました。

  
深く、深呼吸。 「ああ、あなたは何を言うでしょうか？」

  
「彼はthocht OANの日だと思ったかのようにEENスモーキークォーツで、「SAM-レベルの組合代役」と彼は私をGAE私の無線GAE一度他の人は私のような"と、彼女は彼の声が戻って信じられないほど聞こえたと思いましたThaur。

  
「父は、ベガード圧力Ylvisåker、エジプトは湖alrecht THESの話？"ああ、私はあまりにもOnie組合を聞いたことがない「はい。」マラドーナのティール彼の美しい歌に対して自分自身を守ります。 「

  
南ユーロビジョン・ソング・コンテスト"うわー、私はちょうどJIST日は言いましたか"？ 「（しかし、AAI CAACは、反対意見の小石Bに千早麻雀ヘッドである臓器労働組合千早の友人スクリームdorntに私は「南ですが、それはAYは湖の詳細をJintaiトラックをプッシュNAEの責任です」）。狐"私は彼女の新しい歌の日をloove」！  
「アインAAMそれは、「あなたの息麻雀下のああはつぶやきました。

「横糸」 _Dog goes "woof"_  
_Cat goes "meow"_  
_Bird goes "tweet"_  
_And mouse goes "squeek"_  
_Cow goes "moo"_  
_Frog goes "croak"_  
カエルは千早の友達Aが歌うようになった ""しわがれ声 "となります。

警笛を "" _And the elephant goes "toot"_  
_Ducks say "quack"_  
_And fish go "blub"_  
_And the seal goes "ow ow ow"_ "  
シールは千早の友達Bがに参加し。

「 _But there's one sound_  
_That no one knows_ **、** 「千早さんの友達AとBが一緒に歌いました。

「 _ **What does the fox say**_ **？** 」クラス内の他の実質的に誰もが千早以外とお粗末な新しい子供アラタこと、で参加しました。

プレート千早のため、彼らのように狐を聞いたときに（私は圧力を持っていないので、彼の家族）のテーブルであり、に彼を連れて来た、彼らの沈黙は、父が夜にフォックスの街の騒音にアップロードされていないことを、私には見えました心の中で彼らは、YouTubeの動画。

  
「太極拳：あなたはどこから来ましたの？」千早プロバイダAとB、

  
ない私にあるかのように、彼の息子のバスケットボールファン/ Mibsam彼はため息をついた、「そして、これは曲の老人が、私のために来ました」。

  
「ああ、そう、彼女は落ちる時々開かなかった、と私はすべての彼らを祝福します！」涙が名前ではできなかったが、あなたは私に、/見習いの後に来る必要があります。

  
私はあなたが良い友達だったら、それは千早の声であるかわかりません。 「ここでは、部屋にいる恐れてはいけません。」

 

私は息を呑みました。

IKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURU

 _Easy, boy!_  
_Put the right amount of pressure on it_

\--くじらme死海「SPA、Ylvisakerプレーヤーseranganベガード

IKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURU

千早「SAE DIZ友人麻雀」、いまいましいこれは吸う、人生の物語麻雀ああ」それはだ'（富栄麻雀愛好家anymairを！）。

TEELあなたのsomethin secritお取置きチェイル...

私はintae制御放出錠剤の「麻雀ナム太極拳の漫画の主人公「AAM開始AIN麻雀漫画のための「アニメーションの適応をCHANGINた。これはと呼ばれる神真島トップへ私はカリューが刻まれ、whaurアラブアク"高skale太極拳クラブが（日本語で「高skale麻雀母TAEギャングTAE、NAE日たかっlameass GAMの「身体千早のgonnaeを！）AYをinsteid」され何の話をeuroviisu 「TA。麻雀母親はタイのDAE内の圧力を言った彼の白い＃ 'がああSAEタイ1をヒンク。太極拳AW ABIT日の私のために南SAM」圧力、半分の圧力AAMは、「それはまた持っています」。 SAE A郡には平均AAMタイコではありません。

IKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURU

_**おまけ** _

ああ、これは恐ろしい敵GUIDガソリンSARE AAM TelegentØウッド（郡に住んでいるAAM大きな人）です。彼の魂、と言って：

"彼の車sassenatshタイ、日本のタイヤは"ノルウェーのです。

まあ、Bakayaro。

L.汚い地獄、Vlarasshæøを描きます

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first time writing Nihongo! Thanks Google!


	3. {ENGLISH|ENGLISH} the melancholy of being a halv norwegian haafu japanese half human ½ pressure elementary schooler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Great Big List Of Reasons Why Taichi's Life Is Suffering:
> 
> 1\. ~~Senpai~~ Chihaya won't notice him.
> 
> 2\. ~~Senpai~~ Chihaya notices the new kid in class with the lame loser accent instead of him.
> 
> 3\. His mom is Mrs. Pressure.
> 
> 4\. His dad is Vegard Ylvisåker.
> 
> 5\. Everyone he meets wants to sing The Fox song with him.

_One thing stays the same… No matter what you do…_

\--my dad, Vegard Pressure Ylvisåker

IKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURU

Hey wud up guys I'm Taichi Pressure Mashima and I have tousled brown hair like my dad ( **not** purply pink like in the bad anime adaptations Madhouse made from Chihaya's POV!) and brown eyes that are windows into my tortured soul and handsome good looks also from my dad (he's not Norway's most handsome man for nothing!). I'm biracial (bi **racial** not bi **sexual** , just want to make that clear so people stop wanting me to get together with that lame-o Arata!), half Norwegian from my dad's side and half Japanese from my mom's side, which means I grew up trilingual speaking Norsk with my dad, Nihongo with my mom and English with my dad **and** my mom when they can't remember how to say something in Norsk/Nihongo. I'm #1 at my kindergarten and elementary school and have A+'s and A's in all my academic subjects. I'm half human in fact (from my dad's side, though it's obvious a guy like him's not really your average human now that him and his lil' bro Bård (that's my uncle who's the other half of the YLVIS celeb twosome) made their breakout song The Fox and became Big in the US of A) and half pressure on the other side (my mom who went on an exchange to Norway on her last year at Todai (because of course she's a Todai alumni, she's Pressure and it's practically a species tradition)).

I'm at school talking and laughing with my friends, which is practically everyone in my class (except for the teacher because I'm not a suck up and that loser transfer kid Arata) when I overhear Chihaya siding with loser Arata.

I disappeared and appeared at Chihaya's desk (it's one of my special talents because of my pressure genes from my pressure mom) and said casually, "Hey hey, wuz'za matter girl?"

"Oh hi Taichi," remarked Chihaya. "You sound really weird. Where did you learn to talk like that?"

I gasped.

IKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURU

_It’s all about the pressure, ladies_

\--my dad, Vegard Pressure Ylvisåker

IKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURU

Hey so I'm a tell you about my girl Chihaya, Ayase Chihaya. She's not future girlfriend material because she's not a kawaii loli and she acts like a boy more often than she acts like a girl. She's also not admirer/worshipper material which is the main prerequisite for being my friend, because a pressure's got to have standards (my mom told me to say this ten times when I wake up and go to bed so I've got it stuck in my head all the time now) and she says whatever comes to her mind which is often something foolhardy or I find annoying. She also has this weird habit of causing me physical pain by punching/kicking me in the stomach, unlike practically everyone else I know. Her grades are at the bottom of class too.

But she gives me pressure like nothing else, and considering it's Chihaya that's saying something.

She's also the only one who doesn't keep inviting me to go to karaoke with them just so they could put on my dad's and uncle's song. She also doesn't send me tapes of herself singing What Does The Fox Say like practically everyone else in the class did, hoping that I'd pass the tapes on to my dad who'd be so impressed with their singing talents that he invites them to go on his and his lil bro's show I Kveld med YLVIS LIVE and/or help jumpstart their careers as Norwegian superstars.

She's something special alright, and she just said hi to me. I took a deep, deep breath.

"Mmm whatcha say?"

She gave me a look nobody else ever gave me with her smoky quartz eyes, it was as though she believed she was on the same level of standing as me and she thought I sounded really weird back there.

"My dad, Vegard Pressure Ylvisåker, always talks like this alright?" I defended myself against her. "Don't tell me you never listened to any of his songs before."

"Oooooh! Did you just say the name Yeeruviisu?" squealed one of Chihaya's friends (I don't remember her name, it's not a pressure's responsibility to keep track of minute details like that, but I always call her Chihaya's Friend A or B in my head). "I  **love** his new song, The Fox!"

"And I'm out," I muttered underneath my breath.

" _Dog goes "woof"_  
_Cat goes "meow"_  
_Bird goes "tweet"_  
_And mouse goes "squeek"_  
_Cow goes "moo"_  
_Frog goes "croak"_ " Chihaya's Friend A began to sing.

" _And the elephant goes "toot"_  
_Ducks say "quack"_  
_And fish go "blub"_  
_And the seal goes "ow ow ow"_ " Chihaya's Friend B joined in.

" _But there's one sound_  
_That no one knows,_ " Chihaya's Friends A and B sang together.

" _ **What does the fox say?**_ " practically everyone else in the class joined in, except Chihaya and that lousy new kid Arata.

I was headdesking on Chihaya's desk (except I was invisible during it because of my pressure heritage) when I realized that it was silent, nobody was making those weird noises that were supposed to be fox sounds that I heard a gazillion times ever since my dad and his lil' bro put The Fox music video up on Youtube.

"Taichi where did you go?" questioned Chihaya's Friends A and B again.

"Yeah c'mon man sing your old man's song with us," sighed one of my worshipper/follower friends who was a boy and also not as good as me in basketball.

"Yeah! And we can record it on our flip phones and show it to your dad!" exclaimed someone I didn't remember the name of but must be one of my worshipper/followers.

I was wondering if I should get better friends when my girl Chihaya said loudly, "It's okay Taichi you can come out now, don't be shy."

I gasped.

IKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURU

_Easy, boy!_  
_Put the right amount of pressure on it_

\--my dad, Vegard Pressure Ylvisåker

IKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURU

And that's the story of my life, which fuckin' sucks, and so does my friends and Chihaya (who's **not** my girl anymore!).

Gonna tell you something top secret now man...

I'm a changing my name to Taichi Anime Protagonist and I'm a gonna start my own manga that gets adapted into anime. It's called **Mashima Puureshaa Yeeruviisu Monogatari** and it'swhere I join the Tai Chi club in high school (in the high school my mom wanted to go to, **not** the one Chihaya's going to!) instead of that lameass game, karu freakin' ta. My mom said a pressure's gotta to do what he's #1 at and I think so too. Tai Chi's all about the pressure, I'm half pressure, and also it's got the same name as me. So I know it's what I'm meant to do.

IKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURUIKVELDMEDYLVISCHIHAYAFURU

_**Omake** _

Hey so before I go I'm a just say wud up to all my haters (I know you're there and I know you think I'm a Nice Guy). Gotta thing to say to you too in English, Nihongo and Norsk:

Pressure fuckin'  **out**.

Sayonara, bakayaro.

Dra til helvete, din jævla rasshøl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my first time writing english LOL! Thanks anyways Googles!


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